Spotlight: Tim Balser

Timothy John “Tim” Balser, Teaching Assistant 

1. What do you do for work, and what position or role do you hold? 

Well, I wear more than a few hats! Although I don’t actually like wearing hats on my head. I’m the lead singer, co-founder and frontman of a mostly neurodivergent cover band called Typically Divergent. I’ve also been an EA/educational assistant at Gateway Community College for a good five years. The college actually calls me the ‘Mayor of Gateway’—students, staff, professors, even the guards, deans and admins —because of how long I’ve been there both as a student turned alumni and now as an employee. I’m also a bit of a hot sauce collector. Extreme heat such as scorpion, reaper, and ghost peppers don’t bother me. The hotter the better! Beyond that, I give lectures using music, theatre, and personal anecdotes on life with autism for places like Continuum of Care, Marrakech, Chapel Haven, etc.)—sharing my life experiences. You could say I’m a Renaissance man—I have been to a few neat Renaissance fairs and there are theories that the great Leonardo da Vinci may have been neurodiverse! I grew up in Cheshire (where my mom still resides) but have lived in New Haven since 2009. And soon, I’ll be stepping into a faculty intern role at my Alma mater, Franklin Academy in East Haddam, which is a college preparatory mostly boarding school for neurodivergent learners. When not doing all that you’ll find me every May on a beach chair in my happy place of Aruba. I have been blessed to be able to go to Aruba 1-2 times a year for 31 years and counting aside from during the COVID pandemic. I will be there next in just 5 weeks’ time! 

How has your understanding of yourself evolved as an adult who has Aspergers? 

Being diagnosed with Aspergers in sixth grade really shaped my awareness early on. That was also in 2001, the same year as 9/11, so it was already a very tumultuous time in general. From the start, I understood that I was neurodivergent, but my growth really accelerated a few years later when I lost my dad to ALS. That experience forced me to step up quickly—I had to become the man of the house and grow into myself faster than I expected. It shifted my focus toward responsibility, resilience, and figuring out who I needed to be. Without any father figure present beyond that point, I had to adapt on the fly, which helped shape the person I am today. I also wanted to mention Lauren, my fellow Aspie partner and best friend who did a lot of neurodiversity work with me for many years from 2012 to 2021. Unfortunately, this July will mark five years since she passed away. She was an aspiring teacher, and we both attended Gateway together. She would have transferred to Southern with me if she had not passed. We also did a lot of music together, and she had an immense impact on how I’ve become the person I am today, especially the shared advocacy and creativity Lauren and I pursued, which gave me confidence and purpose in embracing who I am to this day. Additionally, her unwavering love, encouragement, support, humor, compassion, loyalty, and kindness also truly helped me as well.  

Do you feel that adults on the spectrum have adequate support in workplaces or outside of them? What specific research areas related to adults on the spectrum do you think need more focus? 

I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to support for adults on the spectrum. What works for me might not work for someone else, and that’s something I think workplaces and society still need to understand better. Supports really need to be individualized, because everyone has different needs and experiences. Some days can be great, and other days can be more challenging, and during those moments, it’s important that people are given space without others walking into the situation with preconceived notions. For example, a meltdown doesn’t mean I’m unable to communicate—it just means I may need space and the right kind of support. I think one area that needs much more focus, both in research and in practice, is how people—especially first responders—are trained to interact with individuals on the spectrum. There needs to be a stronger understanding of communication differences. I’m someone who’s very talkative, but that won’t apply to everyone, and those differences need to be recognized and respected. A lot of the time those who believe they know what’s best for the Autistic individual can unfortunately and unintentionally do more harm than help. 

What advice would you tell yourself if you were to travel back in time to when you were a kid? 

If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I would honestly say that it gets better. Growing up, I was mostly surrounded by neurotypical peers and was in mainstream classes, not special education. I didn’t have much support outside of things like occupational therapy and some help with specific skills and strategies, so a lot of the time I was figuring things out as I went. Losing my dad was a major turning point for me, and during that time, I was dealing with a lot of grief and uncertainty. I remember seriously considering transferring to Franklin Academy when it was just starting out, but I wasn’t sure if it was the right move. What really helped me make that decision was the support from my friends at Cheshire High School, especially my English teacher, Megumi Yamamoto, who encouraged me to take that step. Looking back, I’m so glad I did. I loved my time at Franklin Academy, and that decision really set things in motion for me. It helped me build the independence and skills that eventually led me to my educational path at both Gateway and Southern and my professional career at Gateway. So, if I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to trust the process, lean on the people who support you, and know that things really do get better. 

Looking back, what are some of the most impactful lessons you’ve learned from teachers, mentors, or parents, and how have those lessons stayed with you? 

My mom, Phyllis Balser, gave me a really big piece of advice that stuck with me especially with the loss of my dad and the changes in my life that occurred during that time.You never give up, even through the hard times, and there’s light at the end of the tunnel. My mom impressed on me to make sure that I always bring myself back up and keep fighting through all odds. A song that comes to mind when I think about that is “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba. The lyrics, “I get knocked down, but I get up again” connect with the advice that she gave me and with my love for music, the song really resonates with me and the things my mom has said. At Franklin, the Dean of Endowment & Alumni Relations, Kinsley Rausch-Dudzic, is the “Franklin Mom” and she always has said, “remember the people who are always in your heart,” whether in life and in death. Whether they are here visibly or not, I was taught you always have someone in your corner fighting that battle with you. My supervising professor and mentor (both as a student and soon to be teacher) at Gateway Joe Maynard (who teaches history) has told me that I’m irreplaceable and that I am one of the kindest and intelligent people that he knows. He has motivated me to be confident in my abilities, be the teacher that I want to be for my students, and make the positive difference in their lives that he has in mine through his kind motivating words. In his actions doing his lectures and how he has interacted with his class, I also try to emulate his same teaching style into my own.